4 core foundations of an everlasting loving healthy relationship and life

#1 Self-acceptance

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”-Mark Twain

How can we accept the other person effectively before we have learned to accept ourselves unconditionally? When you accept yourself conditionally, you cannot love another unconditionally, because why give someone else something you do not have? Self-acceptance works wonders.

Once you start accepting yourself, you become more spontaneous and natural.

Self-acceptance is what allows you both to be authentic. You both can finally relax, and allow more of the inner, real you to be seen.

And naturally, your partner then feels accepted. And as your partner feels accepted, they will naturally be receptive to your needs.

#2 Communication

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said. — Peter Drucker

You may think you learn a lot about a person by observing them, but you need to communicate. You need to communicate and make your obseervation in small chunk as they come to your mind. Don’t bottle up and explode. Open up to one another.

If you drop a can of soda, and then attempt to open it in one go, the soda will explode out, and most of the soda will end up on the floow. But if you drop the can, and then slowly open it, you’ll let the volatile gas come out little by little, and then you enjoy the ‘soda.’

Communicating well together builds trust.

The work of building trust happens slowly as you move through life.

The reality is that trust is built slowly over time. The basis of trust is really the idea of attunement.

#3 Forgiveness

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. — Brynt H. McGill

When partners practice forgiveness, fully aware that both individuals are capable of hurting and making mistakes, their marital bond becomes stronger.

Keeping count of past wrongs wears both partners down and makes way for hate and extreme bitterness into the relationship.

Your partner is a human being with weaknesses, just like you. With forgiveness granted generously toward each other comes another chance to make new beginnings

#4 Friendship

Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends. — Harville Hendrix

The word “friendship” conjures up thoughts of honesty, vulnerability, trust, companionship, and mutual respect. It also implies an investment of time and energy. When you are friends with your partner, you have mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company. And I think that is a vital part of a happy marriage.

C.S. Lewis said of friendship: “It is when we are doing things together that friendship springs up — painting, sailing ships, praying, philosophizing, and fighting shoulder to shoulder. Friends look in the same direction.” When you and your partner value your friendship, when you have arguments it is less about who wins the argument, and more about coming to an amicable solution.

It is not a lack of love, but of friendship, that usually catalyzes an unhappy marriage.

So, if you are friends with your partner in the true sense of the word, that is a sign that should you get married. You will be able to sail through whatever storms may come your way.

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Mark Justin

Mark Justin

Interest in FinTech, Deep Tech, Social Psychology, Neuroscience & Neuropsychology, Health and Longivity, and Global Polictics.